Ceyenne Doroshow

Interviewed By Cyd Nova

Ceyenne Doroshow shares her experience developing a supportive relationship with her family, enduring ignorance and discrimination, first meeting another transwoman, learning about hormones, and discovering Miss Major and others who she now calls her moms. Having grown up in a time there were so few out and proud transwomen in her life, Doroshow explains how she has seen the trans movement progress without neglecting the fact that her community is pushed out of housing, portrayed inaccurately in the media, and offered short term solutions if anything rather than sustainable employment opportunities and a chance to age with dignity. A longtime transadvocate and New Yorker, Doroshow offers a crucial account of her history in New York City. (Summary by Evan Zavidow.)

Tags By Users + Add Tags

Pronouns (00:12)
mentor (00:24)
sisterhood (00:26)
New York (00:32)
New York (00:39)
transwoman (00:40)
Park Slope (00:48)
Brooklyn (00:50)
Bushwick (00:52)
family neighborhood (00:58)
scary neighborhood (01:02)
1960s (01:10)
1960s (01:13)
racial riots (01:18)
Martin Luther King Jr. (01:21)
JFK (01:24)
racial tension (01:28)
Childhood (01:31)
memories (01:39)
memories (01:41)
fire (01:42)
housing unit (01:44)
memories (01:48)
fire (01:50)
memories (02:00)
gender different (02:05)
First Communion (02:09)
all white (02:10)
church (02:15)
different (02:39)
fashion (02:43)
coming out (03:05)
Coming Out (03:08)
effeminate (03:23)
different (03:33)
coming out (03:44)
straight (03:59)
different (04:03)
discomfort (04:08)
discomfort (04:12)
discomfort (04:16)
confusion (04:27)
effeminate (04:33)
weird (04:36)
play (04:41)
rain (04:45)
football (04:46)
the guys (04:58)
being yourself (05:11)
rape (05:23)
sexual violence (05:24)
sympathy (05:26)
being yourself (05:34)
effeminate (05:58)
self-identified woman (06:03)
Catholic School (06:05)
uniform (06:17)
gendered uniforms (06:29)
gendered uniforms (06:32)
jewelry (06:44)
jewelry (06:55)
ass-whoopin' (07:01)
teenager (07:11)
men's clothing (07:19)
discomfort (07:23)
discomfort (07:28)
housing (07:33)
clothing (07:41)
dressing in secret (07:45)
dressing in secret (07:50)
taking your mom's clothing (07:53)
dressing in secret (07:56)
wonder woman (07:59)
function (08:06)
getting in trouble (08:17)
brothers (08:32)
women's clothing (08:34)
boyfriend (08:46)
clothing (08:56)
men's clothing (09:03)
clothing (09:09)
unisex clothing (09:27)
parachute go pants (09:29)
parachute pants (09:31)
Billy Martin (09:36)
pink (09:43)
parachute pants (09:45)
pink boots (09:47)
pink boots (09:50)
pink boots (09:58)
pink boots (10:04)
parents (10:10)
tolerance (10:21)
trans youth (10:24)
family discrimination (10:26)
community (10:31)
family (10:36)
GLBT community (10:37)
trans LGBT exclusion (10:40)
trans LGBT exclusion (10:44)
coming out (10:51)
coming out (10:53)
lack of role models (11:00)
lack of role models (11:05)
mom (11:08)
grandmothers (11:10)
mother-daughter relationships (11:15)
community (11:21)
therapy (11:27)
therapy (11:28)
psychologist (11:31)
gay issue (11:42)
gender issue (11:44)
gender (11:49)
gender assignment (11:51)
community (12:00)
suicide (12:05)
running away (12:07)
parental disapproval (12:17)
mom (12:20)
gay family members (12:27)
gay uncle (12:29)
uncle (12:31)
gay acceptance (12:36)
1960s (12:37)
1970s (12:38)
conservative (12:50)
women's clothing (12:52)
ass-whoopin' (13:03)
being yourself (13:09)
Gay Men's Health Crisis (13:16)
support groups (13:20)
gay and lesbian youth (13:27)
trans LGBT exclusion (13:31)
gay and lesbian group (13:38)
ass-whoopin' (13:49)
school (13:50)
community (13:57)
running away (14:01)
running away (14:03)
running away (14:05)
being yourself (14:08)
running away (14:10)
boyfriend (14:28)
support (14:34)
home health aid (14:39)
the virus (14:43)
Broadway (14:52)
being understood (14:55)
discomfort (15:02)
shopping (15:03)
conservative (15:08)
women's clothing (15:09)
women's clothing (15:11)
women's clothing (15:17)
Broadway (15:25)
clothing industry (15:27)
conservative (15:34)
protection (15:36)
confusion (15:47)
community (15:55)
acceptance (16:00)
meeting transwomen (16:47)
96 West (16:50)
cabaret lounge (16:53)
gay and lesbian (16:58)
book of resources (17:00)
book of resources (17:03)
96 West (17:15)
6 degrees of separation (17:29)
Harry Belafonte (17:40)
Sidney Poitier (17:43)
loner apartment (17:56)
trans (18:27)
hormone shots (18:29)
discovering hormones (18:33)
meeting transwomen (18:41)
hormones (18:46)
confusion (18:52)
Ty (19:00)
hormone shot (19:16)
confusion (19:20)
gay guys (19:24)
hormone shot (19:26)
crossdresser (19:34)
crossdresser (19:41)
meeting transwomen (19:45)
needle (19:57)
needle (20:03)
hormones (20:13)
hormone barriers (20:24)
transition (20:29)
transitioning while working (20:35)
Black magazine (20:39)
publicist (20:43)
transwoman (20:48)
community (20:59)
separation (21:01)
privilige (21:04)
disadvantage (21:06)
education (21:10)
education (21:13)
education barriers (21:15)
gender identity (21:17)
school discrimination (21:20)
school discrimination (21:24)
school discrimination (21:31)
persecution (21:36)
school discrimination (21:38)
ignorance (21:42)
gender identity (21:45)
faggot (21:51)
school discrimination (22:05)
hormones (22:20)
kidney failure (22:29)
hormone complications (22:35)
scared (22:37)
death (22:44)
savior (22:51)
death (22:54)
hormone abuse (22:59)
healthcare barriers (23:01)
overmedicating (23:03)
hormone complications (23:06)
hormones (23:12)
hormones (23:13)
illegal hormones (23:14)
organ failure (23:18)
employment search (23:25)
persistence (23:28)
persistence (23:35)
mentors (23:39)
support (23:48)
understanding (23:55)
resources (23:59)
family (24:03)
collective (24:20)
safe places (24:23)
support (24:26)
parental support (24:28)
chosen family (24:31)
support (24:36)
gender (24:48)
accomplishment (24:51)
hoe (24:53)
employment discrimination (24:58)
effeminate (25:05)
effeminate (25:06)
retail (25:08)
limited job options (25:14)
limited job options (25:19)
entitlement (25:26)
transitioning (25:30)
thinking you're crazy (25:35)
self-identified (25:39)
safe place (25:41)
freedom of dress (25:50)
transgender (25:59)
reassurance (26:11)
dad (26:16)
funeral (26:21)
perfect lady (26:31)
funeral (26:40)
family support (26:47)
fear (26:50)
gender identity (26:52)
dad (26:54)
being seen (27:02)
faith (27:12)
faith (27:24)
faith (27:28)
salvation (27:30)
spirituality (27:36)
societal hate (27:47)
discrimination (27:57)
family (28:15)
social stigma (28:27)
family discrimination (28:36)
persecution (28:49)
nervousness (28:57)
fag out (29:07)
surveillance (29:12)
trauma (29:15)
gender identity (29:19)
bed wetting (29:22)
running away (29:27)
running away (29:29)
bed wetting (29:34)
bed wetting (29:35)
fear of parents (29:36)
abnormal (29:42)
fear (29:43)
physical violence (29:48)
gender identity (29:55)
peeing (30:00)
peeing (30:02)
discomfort (30:09)
religion (30:14)
closeted (30:24)
expression (30:31)
sheltered (30:34)
self-protection (30:39)
effeminate (30:42)
physical violence (30:44)
safety (30:54)
loneliness (31:02)
community (31:05)
loneliness (31:07)
nightclub (31:20)
verbal attack (31:22)
transwomen (32:20)
1970s (32:36)
1980s (32:38)
Nickel Bar (32:43)
Sally's Hideaway (32:45)
42nd Street (32:50)
Nickel Bar (32:52)
72nd Street (32:53)
Amsterdam and Columbus (32:57)
hole in the wall (33:03)
96 West (33:04)
cabaret (33:06)
Andre's (33:24)
125th Street (33:26)
Andre's (33:30)
uncle Andre (33:44)
Andre's (33:45)
uncle Andre (33:48)
Andre's (33:49)
family secret (33:51)
gay bar (33:57)
fate (34:34)
dirty little secret (34:50)
gay bar (34:52)
gay bar (34:55)
trans (34:59)
drag performance (35:00)
showgirl (35:09)
godchild (35:38)
curphew (35:50)
roots (36:04)
roots (36:13)
challenging conversations (36:22)
homelessness (36:38)
self-preservation (36:42)
self-protection (36:49)
independence (37:13)
suffocation (37:31)
family violence (37:37)
suicide (37:39)
homelessness (37:57)
Flawless Sabrina (38:00)
Bentley's Nightclub (38:02)
Susanne Bartsch (38:04)
mother-daughter relationships (38:14)
mentors (38:20)
moms (38:31)
Cyd Nova (38:39)
Miss Major (38:41)
mentor (38:43)
Miss Major (38:49)
masseuse (39:13)
masseuse (39:24)
Bushwick (39:28)
Flawless Sabrina (39:50)
Flawless Sabrina (39:54)
art galleries (40:05)
artist (40:26)
dancer (40:27)
cook (40:28)
Flawless Sabrina (40:30)
collective (41:00)
pot smoke (41:22)
writer (42:39)
chef (42:40)
activist (42:41)
pride (42:49)
community (43:02)
community (43:06)
River Fund Food Bank (43:09)
gratification (43:21)
feeling appreciated (43:30)
volunteer (43:34)
book (43:37)
book (43:40)
Cooking in Heels (43:44)
memoir (43:51)
teach (43:56)
kickstarter (44:11)
book (44:22)
book (44:24)
recognition (44:37)
recognition (44:40)
recognition (44:50)
recognition (44:53)
positive role models (45:06)
positive role models (45:12)
positive role models (45:16)
burn out (45:19)
gentrified (45:30)
marginalization (45:32)
marginalization (45:35)
marginalization (45:39)
new slaves (45:42)
feminist movements (45:45)
slavery (45:47)
gender identity (45:50)
pronouns (45:56)
pronouns (45:59)
self-identification (46:03)
choice (46:17)
breasts (46:26)
regular people (46:30)
DNA (46:38)
being yourself (46:41)
Miss Major (46:54)
Vegas (46:57)
Desiree Alliance Conference (46:59)
sex workers conference (47:02)
keynote speaker (47:04)
keynote speaker (47:07)
Frank BB Smith (47:15)
Attica (47:19)
Miss Major (47:20)
co-conspirators (47:22)
Attica negotiations (47:25)
Major (48:02)
Peru (48:29)
shit show (48:35)
Peru (48:38)
vacation (48:53)
shit show (49:12)
Peru (49:15)
Peru (49:18)
progress (49:36)
gender identity (49:41)
transgender history (49:47)
language (49:53)
ebonics (49:56)
good housing (50:17)
trans (50:52)
trans media representation (50:54)
cis people playing trans characters (51:03)
cis people playing trans characters (51:05)
cis people playing trans characters (51:13)
trans actors (51:15)
transwoman (51:17)
positive media images (51:23)
Janet Mock (51:26)
journalist (51:36)
Laverne Cox (51:46)
Orange is the New Black (51:48)
transwomen in the media (51:53)
Caitlin Jenner (51:58)
privilege (52:00)
political (52:06)
transwoman (52:14)
surgery barriers (52:16)
corrective surgery barriers (52:18)
miracle cases (52:27)
SRS (52:33)
healthcare barriers (52:41)
mental health therapy (52:45)
hormones (52:53)
surgery access (52:54)
hormones (52:55)
surgery (52:59)
breasts (53:09)
odd man out (53:12)
silicon (53:18)
silicon removal (53:32)
silicon (53:45)
cancer (53:47)
death (53:48)
clinics (54:01)
surgery (54:03)
progression (54:12)
transition (54:19)
transition (54:20)
surgery access (54:24)
breasts (54:28)
matching (54:41)
silicon removal (54:48)
plastic surgeons (54:57)
surgery (55:06)
medical complications (55:12)
gays (55:33)
societal neglect (55:42)
societal neglect (55:48)
medical neglect (55:52)
trans popularity (56:05)
trans media representation (56:07)
trans media representation (56:13)
cis people playing trans characters (56:16)
Kinky Boots (56:23)
transwoman (56:25)
transwoman (56:29)
England (56:31)
Broadway (56:37)
crossdresser (56:38)
cis people playing trans characters (56:41)
transwoman (56:44)
Lola (56:48)
Lola (56:53)
Lola (57:02)
Lola (57:11)
transwoman (57:26)
breakdancer (57:28)
talented (57:32)
burnout (57:46)
toxic burnout (57:51)
community (57:53)
GLBTIA (57:58)
trans LGBT exclusion (58:06)
reverse progress (58:21)
terminology (58:30)
meeting transwomen (58:32)
crossdresser (58:38)
narrative (58:39)
crossdresser (58:41)
language shift (58:44)
politically correct (58:53)
terminology (58:54)
gender pronouns (58:57)
confusion (59:03)
acceptance (59:06)
acceptance on crack (59:08)
definitions (59:26)
terminology (59:35)
discomfort (59:43)
SRS (01:00:01)
sexuality (01:00:03)
trans family (01:00:27)
trans community (01:00:29)
1980s (01:00:31)
gay pride (01:00:54)
heartbreak (01:00:57)
funeral (01:01:07)
silicon complications (01:01:13)
the virus (01:01:14)
the virus (01:01:15)
ignorance (01:01:19)
HIV (01:01:22)
ignorance (01:01:26)
AIDS crisis (01:01:30)
ignorance (01:01:32)
landlord discrimination (01:01:34)
HIV (01:01:38)
community (01:01:46)
housing discrimination (01:01:52)
housing discrimination (01:01:57)
high drug areas (01:02:02)
high risk neighborhoods (01:02:06)
housing discrimination (01:02:12)
Richmond Hill (01:02:16)
The Bronx (01:02:21)
landlord discrimination (01:02:26)
SRO (01:02:40)
housing discrimination (01:02:54)
sex worker (01:03:00)
trans (01:03:01)
advocate (01:03:03)
projects (01:03:25)
trans stereotypes (01:03:29)
trans stereotypes (01:03:32)
trans stereotypes (01:03:41)
genderism (01:03:47)
trans (01:03:56)
dignity (01:04:03)
trans neighborhoods (01:04:10)
outside the box (01:04:15)
cheers (01:04:20)
trans sisterhood (01:04:41)
high risk (01:04:57)
drug history (01:04:59)
trans-led work (01:05:25)
men wearing skirts (01:05:46)
long struggle (01:05:51)
Parisian (01:05:55)
long struggle (01:06:02)
baldness for women (01:06:11)
beauty (01:06:26)
Nubian (01:06:29)
trans acceptance (01:06:43)
Clinton Hill (01:06:46)
Park Slope (01:06:47)
Bushwick (01:06:51)
erasure of trans communities (01:07:05)
erasure of trans communities (01:07:11)
trans stereotypes (01:07:14)
support groups (01:07:17)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:07:19)
housing need (01:07:31)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:07:32)
transportation need (01:07:35)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:07:39)
housing need (01:07:51)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:07:52)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:08:08)
funding (01:08:24)
funding (01:08:28)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:08:50)
tokenization (01:08:57)
San Francisco (01:09:04)
San Francisco organizations (01:09:06)
San Francisco (01:09:15)
employment opportunity (01:09:21)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:09:23)
trans-led organizations (01:09:27)
trans-led organizations (01:09:28)
trans-led organizations (01:09:29)
trans-led organizations (01:09:30)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:09:37)
cisgender privilege (01:09:41)
cisgender privilege (01:09:42)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:09:51)
cisgender privilege (01:09:54)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:10:04)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:10:07)
hiring trans (01:10:19)
structural discrimination (01:10:28)
immorality (01:10:30)
New York City (01:10:32)
non-profit hypocrisy (01:10:33)
challenging non-profits (01:10:34)
GLBT (01:10:39)
hiring trans (01:10:41)
GLBT (01:10:42)
training (01:10:53)
training (01:10:55)
firing trans people (01:11:05)
funding (01:11:08)
funding (01:11:09)
trans turnover (01:11:17)
trans-led organizations (01:11:29)
trans-led organizations (01:11:30)
hiring trans (01:11:32)
trans-led organizations (01:11:37)
trans self-determination (01:11:49)
politicians (01:11:57)
cisgender politicians (01:11:59)
transgender fight (01:12:02)
Commissioner of Human Rights (01:12:06)
New York City (01:12:07)
lesbian privilege (01:12:11)
trans LGBT exclusion (01:12:19)
lesbian (01:12:24)
lesbian (01:12:31)
trans LGBT exclusion (01:12:35)
housing need (01:12:39)
New York City (01:12:40)
trans LGBT exclusion (01:12:43)
housing need (01:12:45)
housing need (01:12:47)
affordable housing (01:12:49)
HIV/AIDS (01:13:20)
1980s (01:13:22)
2000s (01:13:30)
transwomen (01:13:40)
HIV/AIDS (01:13:43)
community (01:13:52)
transwomen (01:14:03)
AIDS (01:14:05)
AIDS blame (01:14:09)
AIDS (01:14:17)
gay thing (01:14:23)
fear (01:14:34)
ignorance (01:14:40)
the virus (01:14:55)
bigots (01:15:00)
family exclusion (01:15:03)
cisgender AIDS (01:15:05)
Bailey House (01:15:10)
AIDS medicine (01:15:19)
drug use (01:15:28)
needle sharing (01:15:35)
hormones (01:15:39)
HIV positive (01:15:46)
needle sharing (01:15:47)
illegal hormones (01:15:51)
barriers to hormones (01:15:53)
IV drug users (01:15:58)
needle sharing (01:16:05)
Positive Health (01:16:12)
needle exchange (01:16:16)
New York City (01:16:18)
AIDS (01:16:24)
AIDS (01:16:29)
trans advocate (01:16:32)
New York Times (01:16:41)
AIDS (01:16:42)
being vocal (01:17:30)
being vocal (01:17:31)
ACT UP (01:17:49)
trans (01:17:51)
ACT UP trans exclusion (01:17:52)
tokenization (01:17:57)
tokenization (01:18:03)
ACT UP racism (01:18:13)
ACT UP racism (01:18:15)
ACT UP racism (01:18:16)
internalized racism (01:18:19)
internalized racism (01:18:22)
ACT UP meetings (01:18:30)
The Village (01:18:42)
freedom (01:18:50)
being vocal (01:19:24)
humane narratives (01:19:29)
obituary (01:19:31)
born with HIV (01:19:50)
sexual abuse (01:19:53)
born with HIV (01:19:54)
cisgender AIDS (01:19:56)
hemophilia (01:20:04)
HIV (01:20:07)
red tape (01:20:13)
disease (01:20:27)
societal oppression (01:20:39)
tokenization (01:20:52)
Caitlin Jenner (01:20:58)
trans media representation (01:21:07)
privilege (01:21:12)
trans media representation (01:21:16)
trans media representation (01:21:25)
Republican (01:21:40)
trans Republican (01:21:43)
trans Republican (01:21:46)
tattoos (01:22:11)
Sid Nova (01:22:24)
T for T (01:22:27)
Trans for Trans (01:22:30)
empowerment (01:22:36)
tattoos (01:22:43)
unity (01:22:51)
life (01:23:25)
community (01:23:28)
community (01:23:31)
purpose (01:23:35)
future (01:24:09)
future (01:24:13)
awareness (01:24:16)
trans (01:24:36)
ignorance (01:24:46)
awareness (01:24:53)
definitions (01:25:01)
trans solidarity (01:25:23)
trans elder support (01:25:33)
Miss Major (01:25:41)
Flawless Sabrina (01:25:42)
transwomen (01:25:49)
trans elder support (01:26:10)
trans elder support (01:26:14)
Philadelphia (01:26:27)
trans elder housing (01:26:28)
GLBT (01:26:30)
Major (01:26:42)
community (01:26:46)
solidarity (01:26:57)
community (01:27:42)
community (01:27:46)
community (01:27:48)
trans solidarity (01:27:54)
walk in heels (01:28:00)
breasts (01:28:04)
pride (01:28:05)
Stonewall (01:28:11)
Stonewall (01:28:13)
erasure of trans people of color (01:28:14)
transwomen (01:28:25)
unity (01:28:31)
challenging Congress (01:28:37)
societal oppression (01:28:39)
trans media representation (01:28:41)
trans media representation (01:28:44)
trans self-determination (01:28:53)
trans self-determination (01:28:58)
fight (01:29:04)

Transcript

Read transcript.

Interview Data

Date of Interview
February 19, 2017
Rights Statement
The New York Public Library has dedicated this work to the public domain under the terms of a Creative Commons CC0 Dedication by waiving all of its rights to the work worldwide under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights, to the extent allowed by law. Though not required, if you want to credit us as the source, please use the following statement, "From The New York Public Library." Doing so helps us track how the work is used and helps justify freely releasing even more content in the future.

About This Collection

NYC Trans Oral History Project

NYPL's Community Oral History Project is teaming up with the NYC Trans Oral History Project to collect, preserve, and share oral histories from our city's transgender and gender non-conforming communities. 

We'll be training a community corps of interviewers to collect these largely undocumented oral histories in order to build a lasting and expansive archive on NYC transgender experiences.

About the NYC Trans Oral History Project:

We are a collective, community archive working to document transgender resistance and resilience in New York City. We work to confront the erasure of trans lives and to record diverse histories of gender as intersecting with race and racism, poverty, dis/ability, aging, housing migration, sexism, and the AIDS crisis. 

We are inspired by the public history activism of the ACT UP oral history project to build knowledge as a part of our anti-oppression work. We believe oral history is a powerful part of social justice work, and that building an alternative archive of transgender histories can transform our organizing for transgender liberation. 

You can listen to interviews, search interviews tags (like #genderfluidity #self-knowledge #gentrification and #queerfamily), and soon read transcripts. We hope the interviews and tags will preserve and proliferate new knowledges about trans and gender non-conforming experiences.

Content warning: Many of the interviews here include personal accounts of violence, sexual assault, abuse as children, or trauma.